The title represents the current situation of our world today, especially for a typical Muslim family. The title doesn’t suggest a clash between any sects or conflict within one religion. This is merely a reflection on my mind.
Religious is a general word, applying to whatever pertains to faith or worship. Being religious considered as being devout in one religion. But, being obsessed implementing the act of religion sometimes sacrifice other aspects of religion itself. One of that aspects is families.
The obsession makes the approach in religion difficult to follow or rather, seems harsh. This side effects making people pushed away from the religion or even leave the religion. This is a problem we faced.
We have a serious problem in many Muslim families. When parents become ultra-religious, they are actually compensating for a sinful life in the past and they become obsessive-compulsive with religion and they assumed that you are always going to be guilty and you are always going to be in trouble with Allah. Their guilty conscience creates a narrative in religion in which Allah is angry by default and you are always doing something haram. They become literally more Islamic than Islam itself. They started reading into the ayah which is not in the ayah, reading into the hadith which is not in the hadith. And they actually get bothered with the message of forgiveness. They want for all speakers on Khutbah to say: “You need to talk more of punishment of Allah instead of forgiveness!”
When we are bothered in a discourse on forgiveness, it is a problem.
There are a lot of youths spoken out that they are barely holding on to Islam, and still Allah saved them. “What was the biggest thing pushed you away from Islam?” “Parents.”
This is insane. Tell your family, please be patient. Don’t be harsh. Be gentle.
But it seems they are trying to defend themselves. “No no no I never do that.” They don’t seem to have awareness of their own problems. Moreover, because they are convinced that their method is on the right path, they couldn’t find the other way as an alternative.
First and foremost, if your family has a similar situation, please bear in mind that you need to acknowledge the issue. This is important. Don’t try to pretend that your situation is fine. Seek for counsel of Allah afterward and having a discussion inside your family, with a good and sincere intention. Please, speak it out from your bottom heart, don’t let your anger come inside.